Sunday, November 2, 2008

Love means never having to say you're sorry, and other crap

I've never seen the movie Love Story. My dad probably would have considered it high treason. He says that the all time worst movie line ever written came from that movie. Here it is:

Love means never having to say you're sorry.

I agree. That's total crap. In the real world, love means saying you're sorry at all times and in varied circumstances. You don't even have to be the one at fault. Sometimes saying "sorry" goes a long way to making the real perpetrator of jerkness start behaving like less of a jerk.

But that's not the real issue here. The real issue here is this. When someone has been behaving like a jerk and after two days of jerkdom suddenly says "I'm sorry I've been testy lately" and then goes on about their business as if nothing ever happened. No explanations. Is that supposed to make it all better?

Really?

Somehow I'm not feeling it. The all-betterness just ain't happenin' for me yet. I don't know when it will. The hurtful words just keep ringing through my head. I'm not trying to be mad. And I recognize a great deal of truth in what was said. I certainly can improve in the area mentioned. I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be as harsh as it sounded. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

Which brings me to another saying that I think is pretty much garbage. Never go to bed angry. Who wrote this? So, you just stay awake and keep fighting until everything is all better? Does anybody fight more rationally or get more patient and loving when they are tired? I don't think so. Sometimes it's better to sleep it off. Things always look better when you get further away from the crisis.

When Hubb and I got married we received some advice that I think is much better than "Never go to bed angry." It was "Never fight with your clothes on." That only applies to spouses, I hope. Don't try it with your teenagers. Can you imagine?

For now, I'm keeping my clothes on and going to bed. Well, I'll put my pajamas on and go to bed. I'll try to be less upset tomorrow. Wish me luck.

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