Miss Manners on acid

As I grow older I recoginze that my parents were right. SHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Don't tell them I said that. Sadly, they were right about most things and one of the things that they were right about is that kids have no respect these days. If it was true then, it's even more true now. Everywhere go I'm surrounded by kids and teenagers who are just rude and inconsiderate. It's an epidemic. But that's not really what this post is about. This post is about taking manners so far that it borders on absurd.

I called someone tonight. Her daughter answered the phone and at first I was very impressed by her phone manners.

Child: "Hello, you've reached the _____ residence." (Nice, huh? Perhaps a little stuffy but very polite.)

Me: "Hello, is ________ there?" (Maybe not the best question to ask but I find it usually gets the job done.)

Child: "Yes she is. Would you like to speak with her?"

Me: ...Pause... "Yes, please."

And all the while I'm waiting for her to come to the phone, I'm thinking... "Would I like to speak with her? No. I just called to check that she was there. (Said in my best sarcastic voice.) "Of course I want to talk to her! That's why I called!"

I'm all for phone manners but to me, it was just all too much. I have no doubt that the little darling was poised with a pen and message pad in hand before she picked up. I can't decide whether she would make a better secretary or answering machine. Yup, that's good manners gone a little to far, if you ask me.

I know. You didn't ask.

Some babies are not pretty

I'm sorry to be the one to say it. Some babies (and when I say babies I mean kids, too) are not pretty.

Not mine, of course. Moms are biased. We know we are.

Not yours, of course. (See comment about bias, above.)

I blog surf sometimes. Just clicking on links on the sidebar of whatever blog I happen to be on because I like to see where it takes me. I especially like to look at photography blogs. I'm noticing that there are lots and lots of people out there who fancy themselves to be photographers. Some of them are. Some of them are not.

But one thing even a great photographer cannot hide is an ugly kid. They can usually make them look better but it's never quite enough. And I wonder. Do you think the parents know? Does anyone really acknowledge that their child looks a little like Quasimodo with a skin rash? Do the photographers think to themselves, "No way I can make this kid appealing." Do they make the backgrounds more lavish to detract attention from the kid?

Please don't think me mean. I know full well that true beauty lies on the inside. Babies are great, and snuggly and sweet. Some of them just aren't very pretty.

I don't really like shopping. Or crusades.

I took my kids shopping today. They were out of school. That's like torture for me so I decided to share the love and I dragged all four of them out to look for shoes. We came home with a suitcase, a strainer and a snowman themed spoon rest. Every household should have one.

It wasn't altogether bad but while we were out I saw a bumper sticker that I'm still pondering. It read:

This vehicle uses only terrorist free gas and dinosaur free oil.

Okay, I get the terrorist free part. But dinosaur free? Please tell me we are not on a crusade now to save the dinosaurs. I'll save the whales. I'll race for the cure. I'll stamp out hunger. I'll immunize by 2. But I absolutely WILL NOT join a crusade to save the dinosaurs! Talk about a lost cause.

Wait.

Maybe if we could find a way to save the dinosaurs and set them on the terrorists....


Hmmmm.....

Off to get me a bumper sticker.